For those of you who read September's update you may be thinking, "Isn't that the same number they had last month?" Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner! Sadly, yes, we did not move up on the wait list for our baby girl. August was full of updates and postings of referrals and September just wasn't. In fact you could hear the cyber crickets chirping, but that's just how it goes sometimes.
I am a little sad about this, but not totally crushed. There has been so much going on in our lives lately that this number is put into perspective. (Posts to come about the latest happenings). I am giving everything, especially our adoption to the Lord. I know everything has always been His and anything I thought I controlled was a big fat joke. My worrying and planning, my calculations and thoughts are all from such a limited point of view. And to be quite honest the physical and emotional toll of all my "fake control" is getting to be too much. So there you go. I'm refusing to worry for my daughter. I'm refusing to calculate when I think she may be home and if I need an extra Easter basket or Christmas stocking. I just can't do it. . . not today at least. I don't know if I will be able to say this tomorrow or in an hour, but right now I am clinging to His promises. I wish I could say this was my plan since I'm uber spiritual, but it's really just because it's all I'm capable of right now.
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9